by Richard Calderwood

I was asked recently why it was that, outwardly anyway, I usually appeared relaxed and controlled, whatever the situation.  I wasn’t sure whether that was a compliment or a frustrated complaint, and shrugged it off with an aside that I can’t remember.

Those of you who knew the ‘younger’ me will remember that I was, and still can be, a real hothead when someone or something really riles me or crosses my intentions.  And indeed my eldest son (now aged 30 plus) probably had a quicker temper than myself as a young man.

But that was long ago, fortunately.  Even my son, thankfully, has mellowed beyond belief.

That initial remark, however, got me thinking – why do we, as individuals, react the way we do to different situations – and what makes some of us change or ‘mellow’, whilst others remain intolerant and grumpy.

Messages come when you are ready to hear them

With that earlier episode still fresh on my mind whilst visiting a client a few days ago, I couldn’t help but notice the framed wording hanging on the wall opposite my client’s desk.  It was the first verse of the well known ‘serenity prayer’.  I’m sure you’ve come across it too.  It reads:

“God grant me the serenity
  to accept the things I cannot change;
  courage to change the things I can;
  and wisdom to know the difference.”

Perhaps these few words say it all – the clue being in the last line – ‘the wisdom’ to know how we should react to a given situation.

We all have loads of s*** we don’t want dumped in our laps daily . . .  obstacles, placed in front of us that we either need to climb over, crawl around, or push out of the way in order to move on the way we want to go, but .  .  .  .  it’s how we react to the situation that is important.

As a youngster I focused on the problem – and, because nothing happened I got more and more frustrated and angry.

But with experience I began to change my focus.  Instead of focusing on the problem, I concentrated on the solution.  And guess what – solutions change events . . . and by changing the event the problems usually disappear.

Simply accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you can.  Getting anxious or angry isn’t going to help, so what’s the point? 

But that doesn’t, for one minute, mean that you simply shrug your shoulders, give up, and take the easy option - never ever do that!  You must always do everything in your power or influence to ‘change’ or resolve what you can, resigning only when you really do know you’ve tried every concievable approach possible.  Only then can you ‘relax’, without self recrimination, knowing you’ve absolutely done your best.  That’s what puts you back in control.

“With experience comes wisdom”

From my earlier mistakes I learnt – that is ‘experience’.  And with experience came the ‘wisdom’, the understanding and knowledge, to implement (in most instances) the appropriate action.

Understanding the situation puts you back in control of your affairs: it takes away the stress, leaving you calm and and collected.  Result - instead of getting frustrated, angry and failing, you will lead a better, healthier and happier life, and you will create far more wealth (in every sense of the word) for yourself, your family, and those around you.

So, go make more money the smart way.

Richard C

reprinted from bizRichard’s blog archive

I would like to be more wise.