Yesterday I took a look at the Square Enix website to see about cancelling my FFXI subscription. Its been gradually seeping dollars from my VISA card since 2004, and for most of the last two I’ve barely touched the game. Of course my character had lots of hours invested, and I always thought I would find time to get back into it. Now I’m not surrounded by FFXI mania and the old gang have moved on, it doesn’t appeal the way it used to – and even when it does, it just isn’t the same. Having got back into my own routine, its also tough to justify the hours you’d need to spend to progress; its the kind of game that you could lose yourself in for about four years, if the landlord didn’t evict you first for losing your job and defaulting on your rent. I like to remind myself these days that when the power goes off, games like that leave you with nothing. Invest that time in a martial art, practical hobby, social activity or sports, and its yours to keep (no subscription required).

As usual, logging on to see how to cancel my ID lead to installing the latest update, which lead to having a bit of a look to see what I was up to, which lead to getting a couple of K solo experience on my job that was headed to the dunes when I last put it to one side.

It has to be acknowledged; there’s something about that game that presses my buttons. I can’t quit! Its clearly not the gameplay – I haven’t played seriously in years. The quests are mediocre, the level grind is frustrating, the cutscenes are never quite as satisfying as FFX … but the world is beautiful, and full of so many creative ideas and astute observations. It is a beautiful game, and what keeps me paying every month is the idea that that world is still there. I can escape there whenever I need to. The programmed-addictiveness and superficial desire to wear ever swankier outfits kept me playing, but the wonderfully crafted scenery keeps me paying.

Of course it isn’t my world, and in truth it isn’t even sacred any more. It used to be special, but somehow the magic went and now its dreary, so I pay because it used to be magical, and somehow that’s what it means in my mind even if it isn’t how it renders. But there’s so many influences in the game design from distant cultures and belief systems, magic and spirituality. I’ll be watching a documentary about some temple in Indonesia or tribes in Africa and suddenly spot a garment or a carving that reminds me of FFXI, and gradually you realise just how broadly they gathered material for the game and how well observed and considered it all is – its no wonder it appeals to my sensibilities.

It struck me after an hour or so levelling the evocatively named “Ninja” last night (the pixels say you’re wielding dual katanas but really you’re just clicking those same buttons, in a slightly different order …) that if I was good enough at drawing to conjur up these worlds, perhaps I wouldn’t need to keep paying a software company for a game I never play. Perhaps I would end up with something even more precious. If I could produce something even half as compelling as this design for FFX character Yuna, I would be able to produce really satisfying renderings of so many imaginings.

So here’s some resources to try and kick-start me back into drawing again. It doesn’t matter if I play FFXI from time to time, but I don’t think it will feel satisfying, and I’d like to at least try to improve my drawing a little bit. I used to be quite good, when I did it often and was encouraged. It would be a real waste to let go of that for good. Most importantly, time I spend drawing has to be considered “downtime”. I have too many things in my life already that are filled with targets and timescales; if I draw, I draw for fun. If it ceases to be fun/rewarding/relaxing (beyond the effort of having to put in some practice) then I will stop drawing.

How to improve your drawing skills by Christopher Miller at eHow.com

Discovering the joys of drawing at dummies.com

How to draw what you see at emptyeasel.com

Improving your sketching skills at Innovative Design Engineering Research,  University of Hertfordshire

30 seconds drawing at posemaniacs.com

5 steps to improving your drawing skills by Ryan Cole at expertfound.com

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