To do: Wednesday 23rd April

• Catch up with all the notes I’ve scribbled down “to write up on the blog later”
  • Stuff on desk and also post-it bookmark
  • NB: perfectionism, felt I had to type up the earlier ones before I could add more! doh!
• Add the special characters for romaji in the MnN1 anki deck
• Buy more shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, heat protector spray and pink box
• Pick up suits from cleaners
• Cargo trousers ….. maybe …….
• Call electrician to get shower fitted
• Amend Google calendar to reduce study time to one hour blocks and add in “non-productive” time (Now Habit)
• Call electrical suppliers to get converter for lounge lampshade (grrr)
• Load TY cds into media center done
• Finish moving cds from old flight cases into new soft cases
• Ebay some books (schedule sales to start at the weekend)
• Buy more A4 sized Jiffy envelopes for eBaying!
• Order some books with car savings
  • “guilt” book (check)
  • reading list for tefl course
  • check Amazon wish list for anything else

Some thoughts and links about failure

Dealing with Failure by Chandresh Bharwaj

Dealing with Failure by Dion Melchior

Conscious competence (learning model matrix) from businessballs.com

Dunning-Kruger effect at Wikipedia, and associated article at DamnInteresting.com

• Keep it in perspective: balance the frequency of your failures against the frequency of your successes
• Could they have been worse – could you have failed more dramatically if you hadn’t used your existing skills and experience to intervene (even if you were not able to completely avoid difficulties)?
• What actions or behaviours or assessments might have changed the outcome?
• What systems (skills, knowledge, processes) can be put in place to avoid repetition?
• Can this knowledge be shared to benefit others?
• We only find our limitations by stepping over them and stretching ourselvers; the cost of adopting any approach that diligently avoids failure is never to challenge ourselves, and ultimately to prevent any chance that we might fulfil our full potential
• How many toddlers are so destroyed by their failure to walk first time that they give up for life? Can we learn from their lack of self-consciousness?
• “Try to be a failure” – look back over the things you have done and see if you really can classify yourself as a failure. If there’s any successes in there, you’re just not enough of a failure to qualify (this is what your perfectionist negative filter is doing, just the other way around).
• What is there to be redeemed from failure? If it is unrealistic or limiting/counter-productive to try and avoid it completely, is there something in the experience in which we can find some redemption? (such as being good at identifiying the lessons to be learned from failure, without being hindered or paralysed by the challenge it poses to our pride and appearence)
• Acknowledging a personal limitation that might have lead to failure can be uncomfortable. It can also be a useful opportunity to really get inside the experience of that acknowledgement, and identify what it is that is holding you back in recognising your own limitations. For example, are you reminded of an instance in the past where your limitations have had intense or negative consequences, that has left an impact. What is the risk if you fail or are responsible for failure? What is the risk if you never risk failure?
• If you are very unable to acknowledge your own limitations, it is impossible to become consciously aware of your lack of skills, the impact of that on the situation, and the limits it places on your future opportunities. You are stuck at “unconscious incompetence” forever, because you are unable to (or refuse) to become conscious at it. Failures can be painful experiences; those around us who may also have their own issues around failure in their life can be critical and destructive. Don’t let them rob you of the opportunity to learn and develop yourself to your full potential.

Work worries: Monday 7th April 2008

• Reporting day
  • accountable/responsible for problems I have already tried to avoid
  • when people say “best isn’t good enough” I don’t have an answer
    • defeated – think nothing I say will make any difference
  • not raising problems, or not challenging when problems are dismissed
  • trying to fix them all myself
  • accepting being fobbed off
  • not getting “client” buy-in to difficult messages
  • doubting own abilities
    • means excess time for me
    • not escalating because I’m worried it’ll reflect on me

There seems to be lots of doubt going on here. Could use more balance; helpful to look at what I could have done differently but also needs to be balanced with what others could also have done differently. Might be useful to read “The Now Habit” again.

Thoughts – Wednesday 19th March

• Have to accept my own limitations (as the woman at dancing said – perhaps I expect a lot of myself)
• Can’t decide what to do about dancing
• Releasing anger is good, although slightly crazy
• Circadian rhythm experiment still going ok
  • Mon: sleep 22:15
  • Tue: wake 6.27, sleep 12:00 ish? 11:45?
  • Wed: wake 6.27, sleep 22.30
  • Hope for an early night Thursday