To do: 9th April

• Ebay stuff
  • TY book and cd sets
  • Stuff in box
  • HP Omnibook
  • DVDs
• Fix Toshiba laptop to sell or maybe keep
  • Buy air spray and soft CD case from Maplin done
• Clean work suit(s) ready for presentation in Farnborough taken in, need collecting
• Take old clothes to the charity bin by Sainsbury’s done
• Buy face scrub, toner etc in Boots done
• Get car MOT’d
  • Book in
  • Put it through the car-wash first
• Credit card balance transfer
  • Reinstate RBS direct debit done
  • Move money from penalty-savings to flex-savings
  • Make overpayment on HBOS card
• Figure out how to take the media centre to Japan? Jonathan recommends TNT, removing hard disks and packing separately in electrostatic/tamperproof bags; disk parking not required on modern tech.
• Washing up
• Clothes washing (for tomorrow!)  done
• Vitamin C done
• Passport renewal
• Query about photography course
• Get shower fitted
  • Double check power rating and requirement for RCB box done
  • Buy shower unit done
  • Call electrician to get him booked in
• Do cutting-in on lounge ceiling
• Cornwall house
  • Phone estate agents done
  • Phone solicitors done

Work worries: Monday 7th April 2008

• Reporting day
  • accountable/responsible for problems I have already tried to avoid
  • when people say “best isn’t good enough” I don’t have an answer
    • defeated – think nothing I say will make any difference
  • not raising problems, or not challenging when problems are dismissed
  • trying to fix them all myself
  • accepting being fobbed off
  • not getting “client” buy-in to difficult messages
  • doubting own abilities
    • means excess time for me
    • not escalating because I’m worried it’ll reflect on me

There seems to be lots of doubt going on here. Could use more balance; helpful to look at what I could have done differently but also needs to be balanced with what others could also have done differently. Might be useful to read “The Now Habit” again.

Thoughts – Monday 17th March

• Circadian rhythm experiment going well but stayed up too late last night.
  • Fri: start … sleep 19:15
  • Sat: wake 06:30, sleep: 8:30
  • Sun: wake 4:15 then doze on and off to 6:20, sleep 22:15 (45 minutes later than planned)
  • Mon: wake 6:50 with alarm, sleep 21:45 (hopefully)
  • Could use capturing sunrise/sunset figures alongside these to identify any correlation
  • Received reply from Dr Wozniak about circadian rhythms and mental alertness, needs a proper read to make sense of it
• Today wasn’t good for the soul
  • Tried too hard to “carry on regardless” which actually just delayed release of work stress and delayed return to productivity. Work fears became focused (unhealthily) inwards as personal professional doubts, which then clouded everything. Could use active focus on externalising more.
  • Research funding position is slightly bleak. Long term research path will need to be identified early to tackle this. It probably doesn’t need to be a concern at this stage; look far enough down any country road and you’ll find a tractor.
• Will it be possible to “stick it out” until next year? Need to monitor decreasing resilience to upset (such as today) and waning patience; this isn’t a test, just a means to an end. There are others.
• Would like to meditate more, would like flat to be tidier
• Still managed to squeeze in a morning walk and jog through the woods and half way around the playing field; a good start to my first work-day under the circadian rhythm experiment.
• Haven’t decided whether notes like this are better here or in my paper notebook, we’ll see.