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7 April, 2008 in career, emotions, stress | Tags: abilities, accountability, assertiveness, avoidance, balance, best, buy-in, challenges, challenging, defeat, difficult messages, dismissive, doubt, emotions, escalation, fobbed off, lessons learned, now habit, objectivity, perception, perfectionism, problems, reading, reporting, responsibility, time, time management, work, worry | Leave a comment
- Reporting day
- accountable/responsible for problems I have already tried to avoid
- when people say “best isn’t good enough” I don’t have an answer
- defeated – think nothing I say will make any difference
- not raising problems, or not challenging when problems are dismissed
- trying to fix them all myself
- accepting being fobbed off
- not getting “client” buy-in to difficult messages
- doubting own abilities
- means excess time for me
- not escalating because I’m worried it’ll reflect on me
There seems to be lots of doubt going on here. Could use more balance; helpful to look at what I could have done differently but also needs to be balanced with what others could also have done differently. Might be useful to read “The Now Habit” again.
27 March, 2008 in sleep, thoughts | Tags: anxiety, circadian, happiness, illness, irrationality, ocd, ptsd, sleep, trauma, worry | Leave a comment
- Need to work harder at circadian rhythm experiment
- Bed-times drifting later, 10pm is ok, 11pm (last night) is bad, 9pm would be best.
- Perhaps need to start preparing for sleep 8.30 latest.
- Need to pull back morning times, sun is rising earlier and am getting into bad habits.
- More tired this week, but should go to bed earlier to address that not get up later.
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Thoughts about irrational worry
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Feeling as though perpetually “have to be doing something” to avert illness (otherwise “haven’t tried hard enough”!! tsk!) or sense that if not constantly aware something bad could happen
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Seem to be covering the same ground over and over again
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Perhaps would be helpful to start rating days for “happiness” and/or find some well written “happiness scale” to use to record this.
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Would be interesting to identify any patterns and capture stats (could be used to manage own expectations when feeling down)
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Could start asking questions such as “what could I do today to make me happy”, “what has happened today that made me happy/was good” to balance focus and avoid negativity
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Not to be misused for pretending to be happy when not! Repressing feelings is not healthy.
